|
As a middle income person who tries to pay attention to many issues of difference including classism, I find myself frustrated at this time of year with the number of calls I receive for charity donations. I get called by organizations, all worthy for sure, but who are largely well endowed and organizations who have big time support from the 'haves' in the world. This includes museums, educational institutions, and other big name charities. This year, and probably going forward, I will continue to give to charity, but I am more focused on ensuring that the charities support the "have nots." Examples include homeless shelters, food pantries, programs that support disenfranchised youth, etc... I see this as one way to spread the wealth.
Holiday parties. My partner is a private school teacher. We were both raised in working class families that were college educated and yet culturally middle class due to the artistic natures of our families (the conflicting memes and modalities weren't lost on us). It's very difficult to go to lavish gatherings hosted by dominants and smile pretty and try not to appear too blue collar. We're in SoCal so the starving artist is seen as a life choice or a "concept" rather than the perverse reality that it is. This makes social conversation extremely unpleasant and awkward when dominants and lower-level "haves" want to know what I do for a living. Afterall, amongst "haves" this is a fascinating topic of inquiry and the primary mode for "getting to know" others. But when I mention the published credits, the fact that they're unpaid gigs that I had to fight for discredits their validity and people quickly move on to Hollywood in-crowders. The irony is that though the tuition is high at the school my partner is paid fairly low on the wage scale, most likely because of her gender, which is much more prevalent a practice that any one would like to admit. All of this makes holiday parties a nightmare. I try to use it as comedic material for future stories, but that sometimes means a lot of trouble to deal with something that should be fun, intimate, and peaceable at this time of year.
In my home Christmas was a time of fighting. My father grew up in the coal mine area of western Pennsylvania. Survival was the level at which they existed. There was no money for education, doctors, and housing outside of company housing. If there was labor unrest, his family was out in the cold. My mother as a child suffered severe malnutrition. Thus my parents had a horrible time with Christmas consumerism. With my father eyeing every present bought and my mother trying to make the holiday as warm and generous as possible. It was horrible to have my father glowering in the stuffed chair on Christmas morning. I learned early through situations like this and comments that I was weight around his neck.
I'm thankful that my husband and I make enough that at least we can get our bills paid each month, although we have been forced to let go of some of our monthly services (such as getting better cable, combining our phone service to just a cell phone now, not going out to eat like we use to, paying for HEAT, etc...) to adjust for these bills. Over the past years I have made it a priority in my life to give back to others in need (and not just at the holidays). I have not had the luxury of being able to go to Holiday Concerts, Ballets, or other expensive Holiday events often in my life. Sometimes I have felt a bit awkward when I would be around some relatives and/or friends/colleagues who would often show their expensive gifts and I would occasionally tell them of the organizations we give to. BUT there has also been some sense of peace in our lives knowing that what we can do and what give to others really does make a difference (whether big or small). The commercialism that we have been bombarded with during the holiday season use to make me feel like somehow I had been missing out on something special that almost everyone else had, but these commercials don't seem to have the impact on me anymore like they use to. This is definitely a time when those (and I have had friends, family, AND even colleagues) who can't afford even the simplest of things at this time - and it's those that I feel for.......!
My spouse comes from a working class family that gives lots of gifts at the holidays. What makes the holidays come alive for her is spending money on gifts. I come from a lower-middle class family that was much more careful in its spending on gifts. As a child I got one major gift each year and lots of small stuff. I tend to be much more careful about spending money at the holidays and look for bargains throughout the year.
Read earlier survey responses:
November 2005 Survey Question: Please tell us about your experiences of class, class differences, and classism in your education/school.
October 2005: Tell us about a time you've either been an ally to someone or had someone be an ally to you around issues of class.
September 2005: What are the ways you see the race and class divisions exposed by Katrina?
August 2005: What class did you grow up in? What was good or bad about your class experience growing up?
July 2005: What are your strongest memories connecting race and class?
June 2005: The New York Times and Wall Street Journal each ran their own series on class. What is your response to the recent press on class?
May 2005: The good, the bad, and the ugly of cross-class relating
|
