 |
Worst experience: A friend of mine was going through a financially tough time, and wanted to buy a computer but did not feel she had enough money. She is religious, and prayed for a new computer. Meanwhile, another friend had just purchased a brand new desktop computer, heard her story, felt sorry for her, and shipped her the new computer for free. The friend who received the computer told me that she wanted to thank the generous friend, but decided she did not need to. Her reason: God made the friend donate the computer, so thanking God is enough. There was just no need to thank the friend.
My worst cross-class experience is a memory I have as a child of about 10 or 12. My mom had been a factory worker and would come home dog-tired. We had lost the house when she went on strike with her union and we were living in a flat. To make ends meet my mom would rent out rooms in our flat. Soon after the pressure became too much and Mom had a nervous break down. She never recovered so we ended up on public assistance; we received SSI and AFDC. As part of the AFDC we received food stamps. One day, my mom had sent me to the store with food stamps to buy groceries. As I was at the check out counter the woman behind me, and the checkout clerk, talked over my head about how lazy people who had food stamps were and how they squandered taxpayers hard earned money on frivolous items instead of the basics. I remember how hot my face felt and how ashamed I felt.
My best cross-class experience was many years later as a middle class professional woman going to the store with my mom to buy her a brand new recliner. She was busy shopping and I was standing near by. We (all her adult children) had told her to pick any chair she wanted regardless of price, so she was trying them ALL. Eventually, she tried to get the sales person’s attention and was blown off. I felt wonderful walking up to them and getting my mom the service she deserved without going off on them and yet they knew they had messed up. I remember how powerful I felt as a strode up to them and how good and redeeming I felt putting my arm around my mom’s shoulders, and then we enjoyed taking our time and buying her the much needed chair.
My worst cross-class experience was graduate school. It was like being in some strange parallel universe where none of my classmates seemed to worry all that much about money or work, where everyone seemed to know how to network from birth, and where my fellow students sent out emails to the entire student body announcing "White Trash" parties and summer jobs in India training future call center technicians and software developers how to speak English so outsourcing of some of the last paths to some kind of financial security could go off without a hitch. It was also disheartening to meet professors from lower-class backgrounds who had completely bought into the ethos of academia, inveighing against graduate assistant unionization and penalizing those students who didn't have the financial resources to quit all external work and devote themselves, like country gentlemen in the past, to leisurely studies.
It's hard that as a member of the upper class, I am expected to often act apologetic about my money or status. I don't think it is correct to boast or rub my class in people's faces, but neither do I feel it necessary to be ashamed of my background. I don't expect you to feel guilty about how little your parents earned, why should you make me feel guilty about how much my parents earned? Overall, I think we need to accept others for who they are, regardless of class. It goes both ways!
Here in France, I find that "upper class" children are usually taught by their parents to be polite, don't judge people by their money, it's not correct to judge due to differences in income, etc. But I find that many "lower class" children are taught by their parents that wealthy people are evil, selfish, immoral, and it's perfectly acceptable to be rude to someone because they have more than you. In fact, the parents often believe this, and act this way, themselves! How are we to move towards a "classless" society unless every one of us teaches our children to have compassion and love for ALL people, poor or rich?
|
|
